Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The One With The Bedazzled Merkin (thanks, Rob)

Oh. My. Fuck. Yes, I'm going on instinct here & just opening my post with the F-bomb. Because who am I kidding? I LOVE to use it. It gets me through good times & bad. But seriously, what the FUCK am I doing waxing-poetic about the many versatile uses of the F-word when we could be talking about the MYRIAD of fuckhotedness that dropped over the weekend.

Details, Vogue (wearing Persol sunglasses....yummy) & a manip
since the Eclipse pics got yanked. (manip via ThinkingofRob)

We're talking Details pics, Vogue pics, and finally the Eclipse stills. 'Twas a visual assault of epic proportions and while it's Tuesday, I'm still nursing a RobpornOver people. By now you've seen them all - so I won't be walking you thru them. MrsBing did a fab job of that on Saturday anyway. What I'd like to call attention to - now that my eyeballs & thighs have stopped vibrating from visual the overload - is a DETAIL in Rob's Details interview.

Now much has been made of this interview. He's allergic to Vag (heh heh). The most poignant moments in his life (according to this interview) were with his dog Patty Pattinson. He's extremely smart, talks himself in intellectual circles, treats a dinner guest with manners my mom would be proud of, and pints are definitely a social lubricant. Oh....and he's fairly well-versed in sex shops & porn apparently. This would be the point that stuck out to me....

A shop? That Rob knows of? Where you can buy stuff to engage in Pony Play? I had to check this out. Taking a leaf from Edward Cullen I Googled the shit out of Coco de Mer. And here you have it: http://www.cocodemerusa.com/ Like the interview says - high end sex toy & bondage store. Very pretty website, with very pretty & very strange things. Like The Paul Seville Horsetail Belt in Black. For a mere $935.00. Can you imagine Rob pawing the ground like a horse? Neigh neigh!!!

Giddyup! Let's go for a ride.

From there I clicked my way around til I saw this next little gem. The Spanking Ruler - Teach Me a Lesson for $13.00. Didn't Rob attend a parochial school? Of course the ENTIRE time I'm on this site I cannot think of the REAL Rob, but any number of Fic Robs - I mean Fic Edwards - instead. I am certain Domward or Fifty Shades would HIGHLY approve. And considering the income most Ficwards have at their disposal, I think the second option - the Betony Vernon Spanking Paddle with ergonomic handle for $1700 - would be a drop in the bucket for them.

Thank you Sir, may I have another? Wonder if the Betony Vernon paddle feels like
rainbows & unicorn kisses when it hits your ass. For $1700, it better.

I thought this little tidbit was tres interesting. The Gentleman's Relish Lubricant. My favorite part is the graphics on the front of the bottle. For $27.00 you can lube your Peen up in style.

The graphics on the front of this bad boy are adorable. So very British. Oh Rob....

And finally, there was my VERY favorite item. Just in time for the gaudy-gaucheness of Mardi Gras... and perfect for a Sparkly Vampire... The Butterfly Merkin for a mere $145.00. The Swarovski crystal body art is reusable too... Like the the description says "Surprise your lover!" If you're a celebrity, you can imagine the car-exiting-papparazzi-flashing opportunities this would create. Dressy, but still commando!

Sadly, Britney Spears has ruined all butterflies for me.
I look at this & all I can think of is Chicken-Fried Brit Bits.

And with that, I'll leave you good pervs to ponder the insane fun that's to be found on Coco de Mer. I'm amazed I was able to pull myself away from the photos (& did I mention there is a video???) to scrutinize the actual interview so thoroughly. What I wouldn't GIVE to have seen Rob give that interview in a leather body-harness from an Equine point of view. Perez would have a hey-day with that.

By the by, it's Fat Tuesday. Last night to indulge. King Cake anyone? What (if anything) are YOU going to give up for Lent? Robporn? Eclipse spoilers? Chocolate? Details Magazine? Your Rabbit? Vanity Fair Outtakes? The F-bomb? I'd love to know, you pervy pervs!!!


PS - Guess what item on that website I spared you from? The Edible Chocolate Anuses. Yep... a trio of little chocolate buttholes in a variety of chocolate flavors. It's under "Sexy Gifts." Dare ya to look.


Anonymous said...

Merkin. That is new for me...
THank you for learning me on this.

VitaminR said...

I love him and his dark and adorkable ways. I want to hear him say 'porn' over and over again. I am going to go watch the video again...and again...and again. I am going to visualize it's me in that bathtub (with that chicks body but bigger boobs--I am still holding out hope he is a boob man). In my vision those white pants are no longer on him and there is no longer a tub separating us...but you all know how that fantasy goes...we all have it.

jadedandboring said...

Oh, I need to read this interview.

TFX-Of KeepersoftheNaughtySparkle said...

Ohai...I'm just getting caught up on posts because I'm faily-fail. I nearly died when I saw the horse get-up. VERY NICE hahah!

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