The One Where :) Shows Up In Abundance

I will be the first to acknowledge that it is beyond fucking annoying when people add :) to the end of every sentence. I try to keep my :) use to a minimum. I promise, I do. However, if you know me, you can attest to the fact that I get pretty :)-heavy at times. Before you get all judgy-bitch on me, allow me to explain.

MrBing travels some for work. The longer he is away, the longer I go without ass. Obviously. (I'm only a h00r for Rob and j.action, you know.) ;) The longer I go without ass, the more :) I use in my emails, texts, and messages. They so annoy me and the moment my fingers hit the : and ) keys, I want to immediately backspace and erase those little fuckers (right after I gag myself for being so familiar with those keys). It's a vicious cycle that I cannot help. :) Near the end of a fairly lengthy work trip for the hubs last year, one of my best friends and I were chatting via Facebook. He politely asked when the fuck MrBing was coming home because the abundance of :) was getting out of control. I'm telling you, the longer he's away, the more ridiculous it gets. :) While I cannot completely curb the :) use that comes with lack-of-ass, I have found a few things that lessen the :).

After months of obsessively checking the 100Monkeys site for tour date/location updates... they are FINALLY scheduling for the east coast! :) It's on. They have yet to announce when they will be in my city, but I know it's on the horizon. And just seeing close(-ish) cities on the books gives me feelings in the ladyplace because I just. cannot. wait. Maybe I'll hop along to one of the scheduled venues if the :) get too crazy...

J. action keeps the :) at bay for only so long.

Staring a little too closely at his jeans, forearms, and dimples brings the :) right back...

Modesty patch talk has helped the :) much these last few days. And he says handcuffs. And ball sack. :) Seriously, if that man runs his fingers through that head of hair one more time (whilst giggling), I swear I will never use another :) again. Beautiful.

omg can you pretty please imagine assisting in the creation

(and placement) of this infamous modesty patch? I'm dying!

PremiereStew is also remedy for my :) problem. Particularly the AdventurelandStew, all decked out in Herve Leger by Max Azria (+ Burberry shoes to seal the fucking deal). This pic makes my :) problem better 90% of the time.

Kristen's dress, shoes, hair, AND makeup at this premiere were crazybusiness hot.

She didn't win that ELLE Style Award for nothing.

Shoeporn. Shoeporn solves all problems, didn't you know? And until I get ass once again, I'll probs be staring at these beauties. Otherwise, you'll be seeing a lot more of our pal :).

These are the Burberry (Riveted Court) beauties that Stew wore with that ridiculous dress shown above. I also threw in a shot of the Choos-That-Never-Were. When I feel the :) are getting really annoying, I'll pull these shoeporn pics and convince myself that : and ) are not even an option.