The One Where We Address Ms. Greene. (Not THAT Ms. Greene)

Dearest Ashley--

Everyone is allowed poor decisions. A celebrity with a to-die-for rack is even expected to make occasional (public) poor decisions. A celebrity with a to-die-for rack who dabbled in Jonas isn't allowed any more poor decisions. So what happened yesterday, Ashley? I can only imagine how incredible it would feel to wear head-to-toe Givenchy, period. In Paris? Again and again, please. AND STANDING NEXT TO ROBERT PATTINSON (who incidentally has hardly been seen in 5 weeks. Not that we're counting.) You think we weren't gonna notice? I can't EVEN.

But I awoke to an email from Anntastic asking me to talk her down from the whatthefuck of your outfit, and I just couldn't do it. Here is my opinion: okay to the length and color of your dress; yes up, down, and all over the back-zip heels; don'teverfuckingdothatagain to the necklace. There is not a thing wrong with a shark tooth necklace, you gorgeous, gorgeous woman. A shark's tooth on a leather strap- even better. The fact that it is also made by Givenchy seals the deal. I have zero problem with the necklace. I have a problem with your pairing. But that's just me. And it's only the beginning. You're the SOLE female presence in the European promo & you're filling the (notoriously stiletto-ed) shoes of a noticably absent Main Character. This is your big chance. But you have an eye for shoeporn. We'll be fine, right?

Don't Do That To Us Again-

Twifecta

I am glad for two things: Ashley brought fashion posts back to

Twifecta, and she dresses better than Alice. Neither is hard to do,

but we thank her anyway. Givenchy Resort 2012 folded peplum dress.

The satin box clutch is a safe and solid choice.

The leather strap necklace (Spring 2012 collection) is another story.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Givenchy ankle strap back-zip sandals. Moment of silence.

PS - ETA (by Anntastic)

Dear Ashley, as a fellow height-challenged gal, I beg you never to break the visual continuity of your line. This is a basic principle that even I - a lowly carpool-driving SAHM - knows: NEVER break your line. You want to ADD height, not cut yourself in half! And you did it no less than three times here. Once at the waist (WTF is that frill? You're in your early 20's - you're not Bette Midler.) Again where the hem of your dress falls (this would be allowable if not for the waist) and finally with the ankle strap. I'm ALL for the ankle strap. But you just chopped your visual into thirds. And when you're already the height of a cocktail weenie, you don't need to cut yourself into bite sizes for us.

Also, just another reminder: YOU'RE STANDING NEXT TO ROBERTfuckingPATTINSON.

The A-game must be brought-en.

PSS - We're back bitches! :)