Okay, so you know of my dreaming-of-Freebies problem, right? They'll pop in, we'll hang out, and then I wake up. I can never, ever touch. One word: fuckingfrustrating. The first time that this happened, I awoke in the middle of the night... well, let me play it out for you.
Adam Levine used to be on my list. Until, that is, Lainey defined the word "shamefuck" for her readers. I obviously removed him from the list and placed him under the shamefuck category (he's still the lone guy in that special category). Anyhow, he was on my list. So I have this dream where I am backstage after a show (ugh, so cliche that I was somewhat glad to wake from it) and we start talking. We're talking and talking and talking and he asks if I want to leave with him (omg, writing it out makes the cliche even worse) and I say that I can't because even though he's on my list and MrBing would technically be cool with it... what if he wasn't? What if he got mad and left and never forgave me?! Couldn't do it. I wanted MrBing more than I wanted to play with my shamefuck. I love MrBing A LOT, apparently. I awoke in the middle of the night and was immediately MAD. I woke the hubs and said (yelled/said, same thing), "I couldn't touch Adam Levine in my dream because I LOVE YOU! Ugh!" He was confused, and I went back to bed. (For the record, I tried to magic myself back into the dream and it didn't work.)
50% What-the-hell-was-I-thinking? 50% I-want-to-touch-right.the.fuck-now.
See? That's the beauty of a shamefuck.
And Adam Levine fits that bill perfectly, right?
You see? Sofuckingunfair. Like we're ever going to be presented with the opportunity to bag a Freebie. It should be allowed in dreams. It should be possible in dreams. For me, it is not.
Last night, I dreamed that Anntastic and I were watching Eclipse and Rob surprised! the theatre (a la LA Eclipse showing). Only he was without Kristen. He just wanted to talk to the fans for a bit. Now, I don't know why (AND she'll kill me for this), but Anntastic got up to go to the bathroom, leaving the seat next to me was empty (what a fab friend!). Obviously, because it was my dream, Rob walked up and sat in her seat. We talked for a few minutes. I don't remember exactly what our conversation entailed, but I did think, "Man, that was a GREAT convo. And there was good, genuine laughter." (Sidenote: His laughter was unf, in case you were wondering.) After a few minutes of really great (yet apparently forgettable) conversation and COP-inducing laughter, he got up and went down to finish his little chat with the audience.
Hey, Mr. Sandman! Is it too much to ask?
Help a sista out next time, m'kay?
Why didn't I touch him? Why didn't I get him nekkid in the theatre? It was a dream! He's a Freebie! MrBing says it's COOL! Grrrr. I thought it would be different with someone worthy of the list. I thought the shamefuck sitch happened because he shouldn't have been a listie in the first place. If I come back from TheCon and dream of j.action, I will touch him. Mark my words.
It's on. Bring it.