Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The One Where We Bring Unicorns

This is a tale about Four Girls and their Unicorns.

In just under 24 hours (at time of post) most of us will be sitting in a theater gazing at the screen as if we've just seen the Rapture. His Sparkliness returns - bigger, sparklier, and this time without tweed. Takes a pretty damn devoted fan to do this at midnight. Most of my fandom friends have made plans -some seeing all 3 movies right in a row (eeeep!), others traveling far & wide (hi MrsVanquish!) to be with their Twi-besties. So how is it that I'll be seeing the 3rd installment as a QUADRUPLE date with non-Twi friends (albeit besties)? Lemme tell you. Because bitches & h00rs, I happen to know that unicorns DO exist.

OMG you guise! All eight of us? We're *just* like the Cullens!
Except we're all sunburnt.

First, though...a bit of background. Besides MrsBing & my "friends that live in my phone" I have a very dear set of RL besties that were initially assigned to me in random fashion by the people in the Office of Student Housing before the start of my Freshman year of college. There are 4 of us & unlike most students paired up by campus housing, we became fast friends & continue to be to this day. I'm talking near-daily emails, trips to visit on another during the year, calling one another while we're in labor, you get the drift? We also have a huge annual trip where we ALL (all as in us, the hubs, the kids, and even our parents) get together somewhere fun for a weeks worth of memory-making. It's AWESOME. And decidedly un-Twi.

Later on they'll read this & we'll have a discussion over which one of us
is supposed to be the Mary Sue in the Dugger-like bathing suit. (not it!)

So last fall we got to work organizing the 2010 reunion. We decided on the week of June 26th. Do you people see where I'm going with this? Plans were set, airline tickets were booked, condos were reserved, in other words #Let'sDoThis!! But it took me until sometime last winter before I realized Eclipse would open DURING our trip. #badbadfangirl. I freaked. How will I see it on opening night? They'll think I'm a freak. Like officially. Our PARENTS will think I'm a freak. Would I have to skip it & wait? Would I physically even be able to DO that? OMG OMG! What's a girl to do?!?!?!?

Skipping the opening night of Eclipse my ass! HULKSMASH!
(also, this is not my ass. or my underwear.)

So one month prior to Eclipse, I emailed the girls to see if anyone was up for a midnight viewing with me and my hubs. Yes, my HUBS. I have my very own Unicorn who's read the books (he loved) and has possibly read some fanfiction *coughDarkSideoftheMooncough.* (he liked) I knew at the very least HE'D go see it w/me and I figured 2 of my GF's would be up for it as well. But certainly not EIGHT of us. Yes, you read that right: ALL of the girls wrote me back saying "count US in!" "yep, WE're game!" "sure, WE think it sounds like fun!" I'm all whaaaa? We? Us? We're? As in, your HUSBANDS want to go too?

More like "how the HELL did we end up here?"
And "every time the wolf kid takes his shirt of, we do a shot."

In the interest of full disclosure, the more I really thought about it, I wasn't surprised at all. It's a known fact that Manntastic has his very own vajayjay - and we're not talkin' about mine. I mean the dude LOVES. CHICK. FLICKS. He's the one that made ME go see Under the Tuscan Sun. He's the one that can't watch LOST with me b/c it "stresses me out before bedtime!" And he's the one that's got Sandy Bullock as his #1 Freebie. He's also the one that has a crush on Rachel Ray ::snicker:: I also know for a fact that one of these other dudes watched Lifetime with us (without complaint) on a regular basis back in college. And another one of these guys claims to not know the story of Twilight, yet he would quote his wife lines from the book...when he was not peeking over her shoulder

Only real men pony up to see TWI movies at midnight with their wives!

So now I'm faced with the fact that I while I'm getting an EXTREMELY rare quadruple date night, it's A) at midnight and B) I'm a fucking Twilight FREAK. I pity whoever sits by me... I might clutch their arms as I shreik "ooooo I thought they'd cut that part from the script?" (because it's normal to have read the script, right?) And what if one of them asks me if Rob & Kristen are dating & I end up spouting off all my "proof" that they're together? What if I scream "motherfucking leghitch!!!!" And what if I pull a Remember Me & actually MOAN out loud when they show a close-up of Rob's jaw? Because all of these things have happened. Many times. But not in the company of real, sane adults. Or my husband. Guys, I think I might be screwed. Definitely outed, but happily screwed

PS - I'm pretty sure they already think I'm a freak. It's just a matter of how high I fly my flag :)

PSS - How will YOU see Eclipse? Night of? Following weekend? With Twi-friends? How many times? We wanna know!!!!


rpblc30 said...

gawd i thought i'm alone in this.the dood behind/besides(i couldnt remember) must thought that i'm a total freak when i cry nonstop during new moon.i dont give a damn at that time bcoz its just normal for us.or is it? never mind.u shouldnt be bother by that just bcoz they dont dig twilight like we do.nyehh..i just talk so much..anyway good luck!at least you got one day ahead.mine was like freaking 9 days..ughhh

Anntastic23 said...

Oh they dig it! They're all excited & stuff...but they're "normal" whilst I'm...well, you know :) Have fun!

TFX-Of KeepersoftheNaughtySparkle said...

Anntastic...I will be there with you in spirit. TRUST. Have your cell on expect tweets and texts. You may hear my squeal/moan all the way from here during #LEGHITCH2010!!

SparkleMindy said...

Out of a party of nine (all women & teens) I am the true twitard of the group. I also work with these people so I may be doing myself in. I secretly think they are showing up at midnight just to see my freak flag flyin' high. The thing is -I DON'T CARE!! I am a proud sparkly vampire lover. C'mon midnight!

Post a Comment