As some of you might know, my household (read: ME) is in posession of one Fun Size Edward. He came to us (probably from China) last Spring and things really seemed to go swimmingly at first. FSE was fun, portable, and didn't require much in terms of sustenence or necessities. He spent most of his time lurking behind my iMac, staring at me and monitoring computer usage.
When not perfecting his stalker-like tendencies (though we were fully aware of this trait...I mean, I HAVE read Twilight) he even did some charity work, playing host to the newly inaugurated President and Senator McCain early last summer. In fact, this work was featured over on Twitarded last June.
The Cullens are more than ready to assist, Mr. President.
Eventually, it became obvious that he really had a knack with the kids. He kept my then 11-month-old entertained, ruled over the backseat shenanigans during roadtrips...
You can imagine our shock when he accompanied us to the birthday party for a close friend's 2 year old daughter. The gifts had been opened, children had returned to the bounce house outside, and I walked in the living room to find THIS:
What if I'm not the superhero?
What if....I'm the BAD guy?
Needless to say, Fun Size Edward lived up to his name - he had fun with ALL sizes! Though I'm not one to be all judge-y about who or how many one chooses to make sexytimes with, at a 2 year old's birthday party just didn't pass the smell test for me. (Not to mention that the owner of the Superheroes and I were caught by her husband sprawled out on the floor in hysterics posing this little threesome.) Shortly thereafter, Manny Edward was demoted from his position and has once again resumed his post hanging out behind the iMac...staring at me. Though we do ask him to tend bar at our adult parties sometimes...
I hate cater-waitering.
We have a new Manny now. His name is also Edward. New Moon Edward, to be exact. And he knows how to play nice with the locals. We'll share more of his adventures as we go along....