Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The One Where You Meet Anntastic

Hi. My name is Anntastic. I have a Twilight Saga addiction. Mine began in July 2008, when my 2nd child was one week old. Needing to escape for just a few minutes from the baby, her older brother, and 4 eager grandparents, I slipped upstairs to "go to the bathroom." In actuality, I intended to SIT on the loo (fully dressed) and have a moment alone to browse a magazine or anything not newborn or nipple-related. I had no idea that reading the July 18, 2008 issue of Entertainment Weekly would be the beginning of an addiction. The beginning of an whole new world. A Twi-life, if you will.

"Who the hell is this douche with his mouth hanging open,
creepy Sanpaku eyes, and Trump-esque hairstyling?
Why does the chick look so strained?
And WHAT the fuck is with his hand-claw on her back?"

That magazine, as you all know, was all about the August 2nd release of Breaking Dawn, along with some blurbage about the upcoming Twilight movie. They told all about the latest rage... all about Edward, his possessive/stalker tendencies, and his lady love, Bella. It sounded mildly interesting at best. I moved on to other articles, hiding away that July afternoon.

A week later I was cruising the aisles at Target with a screaming newborn and bored toddler, and saw The Books on an end-of-aisle display. They were $8.98. I remembered the article, grabbed the first one, and well, that was the end of it for me. I was hooked by the end of the first chapter.

I did MUCH the same as Mrs Bing: "Sweetie, why don't you watch another Dora because Mommy needs to feed the baby...again....while I read this book...some more." That baby got fed so damn frequently it's not even funny. I credit my fanastic milk supply to Twilight & the hours I spent reading and feeding her! Unlike many of my friends in the fandom, I did NOT race through the books. I knew what I had found: a story that captured my imagination and undivided attention in a way that few books have ever done (not unlike the Potter books). So I wanted to savor and make them last. It took me a month to get thru The Saga, only because I paced myself. I forced myself NOT to read them all evening, and watch the Olympics instead. I recall feeding my daughter at 4:00 AM while reading the part in New Moon where Bella thinks Victoria has come for her. I was SO FUCKING FREAKED OUT and actually checked the doors on my way back to bed (as if locks would stop a vampire...).

I told a good friend (Katerino) about my find and she picked up the first book a few days after I did. We read them at nearly the same pace and when we would run into one another at preschool drop-off our conversations would go like this:

Me: What part are you....
K: ...the part where they're talking in his bedroom on his new bed (Eclipse)
Me: OMG! They neeeeeeed to....
K: ....DO IT! Like NOW.
Both: The tension! blah blah sexual frustration! yada yada I mean we're not in high school! omg! the leghitch, the lullaby, etc. etc. (You can only imagine our thoughts when we got to the now infamous "Fade To Black."

I casually started emailing other girlfriends (including Mrs. Bing, who is a very dear Real Life friend) telling them they needed to read these books. These stupid, teenage vampire, totally captivating, cockblocking books. I began noticing silver Volvos everywhere. I checked out the actors online. Oh yes, I Googled that shit.

And once I'd seen the movie (which is a story for an entirely separate post!) I just didn't want the magic to end. My newborn was 4.5 months old at that point, had full-on Colic, the 4 yr old was restless, and winter was setting in. And Momma NEEDED a hit. Something to keep her sane! I scoured Ms. Meyer's website daily from November through January, absorbing anything and everything about the Saga. I was slowly nurturing my Robsession as well via the celebrity gossip and Twilight sites (Yes I can recall the Drought of 2009 when he was MIA from late Dec - early March. Yes I remember the internet exploding the day he cut his hair & promptly flew back to London. No one's hair has sparked more talk since Rachel Greene's infamous Shag.) Soon, I was checking sites like TwiCrackAddict, Robsessed daily, and by late March I'd found the fantastic ladies of Twitarded. (sigh...that last one feels like HOME!)

I'll save my stories of discovering Fanfiction, acquiring my Fun Size Edwards, acclimating myself to Twitter, and dressing Twilight Baby (an affectionate moniker we've given to our Wee Miss who was rocked in my arms as I read all four books) in "Team Edward" and "Crawls with Vamps" onesies. I will regale you with tales of How I Decorated My Office (laundry room) In Twilight. And of course I'll give you the deets on a personal favorite "Why My Husband Likes Twilight *wink*" (he's read them all!)

Oh there's more to come from Mrs. Bing and me. Our obsession is multi-layered and runs deep. We can't wait to tell you more about it. Yes, I have a problem (and I love it).


Anonymous said...

From one blog newbie to another.. welcome!!

it's lovely to meet you ladies. I think Twi-fecta is going to be a very regular haunt of mine, I love it so far.

Great post.. please don't throw up!! ;)

Snarkier Than You said...

This is the best "problem" I've ever had - lol!

Thanks for the shout-out! And the Twidom and all the awesome people I've connected with while living here definitely make it homey...

: )

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