Monday, January 11, 2010

The One Where We're T(Laut)-Minus One Month and Counting

So you all know what one month from today is, right? I mean, besides some killer President's Day Sales (you do have your decorations up?) going on. Because I know what one month from today is. On February 11, 2010 our little TayTay, our favorite Man-Cub, Sharkboy himself, will turn EIGHTEEN. Yes, ladies, our Man-Who-Became-Wolf will indeed become a man. And thus opens an entirely new can of worms for the fandom.


Awwwww yeah! We're in the T-Zone!


I really don't keep tabs on TLaut. I mean, I've always liked him (by "always" I mean he tugged on my heartstrings when everyone rallied to keep him as Jacob a year ago) and I particularly enjoy Google-searching him & watching at his old martial arts videos. (Do it, it's super fun & a guaranteed laugh.) But he didn't really hit my radar until New Moon. There are things I'd like to say right now (Well, hellooooo chisled abs. Helloooo gorgeous-back & arms-when-you-hug-Bella-in-her-room, etc) but I can't. I am STRUGGLING to hold my commentary in. And you all KNOW why I have to. I am a mother. Of a boy. And if you're gonna be ogling my baby, you better back the fuck off til he's legal, kwim? Because I am NOT one of these ladies:


Real Housewives of Twilight converge on ComicCon


In general, I rarely fawn over younger celebs. Even guys RPattz's age are not typically found on my Ogle List. Why yes, Josh Holloway & Matthew Fox, I'll readily admit you make my thighs quiver. Oh and you too, Lee Pace (I know! Make fun of me! But Google him, he's beautiful!) But along came Twilight and The Sparkly One, who thrust himself on my Freebie Five. And apparently he's set precedent and now look who keeps catching my eye... TLaut will never be on my List, but he's certainly easy on the eyes, and I will not mind saying so once he's old enough to head to the polls & cast a vote with me. I can only imagine what the more "grown up" sector of the fandom will say, esp. considering someone out there has made THIS (too bad it won't work correctly!):

Mr. & Mrs. Lautner, did you know they're ticking
down the days til they can tinker with Taylor?


So for now I'll limit my comments regarding Mr. Lautner to "he really brought a layer of depth to his Jacob in New Moon" and "I so admire his commitment to the role" and "Oooo! Aren't he & Selena Gomez THE cutest thing evaaaah?" I'll continue to wax-poetic with MrsBing about his style choices. (Good GOD, the shoes. The sharpest suit with flawless tailoring is NOTHING if you fuck up the shoes! And TL's a repeat offender in RL and at events. Please see Lainey for details regarding this. I particularly like her take in the post I've linked). His style (or stylist?) has DEFINITELY evolved, thank God in the high Heavens. The boy is evolving. And I'll be curious to see who he dates once the Magic 18 Umbrella has been lifted. Selena & Ms. Swift were very careful selections by his management team.... I can't wait to see who he picks when he can do more than go for ice cream.

The lapels. The Olan Mills Head Tilt. Just...no. THIS is how it's done now.


And there's where I will stop. For another month the teens can have him. But on February 11, all bets are off. Until then, feel free to ogle. After that? Feel free to comment.

We're purely interested in the shirt & tie here, people.


You want me to imprint WHERE??

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