"Off to bed to touch myself inappropriately to scenes
involving this image: http://LinkToHotRobManip.com Night lovelies."
So I did what I always do: CLICKY the LINKY! Who cares about the water!!! Because given the girls I tweet with and what this fandom generally finds amusing (esp at 1 in the morning, when this link was tweeted), I knew this had to be: A) Robporn B) Twi-porn, C) Porn ("erotica" as I like to call it), or D) Miscellaneous Link to Something Funny. And I was correct: Answer A for the win! It was Robporn in the form of a Rob-nipulation. A gorgeous, sexy, fully-clothed photo manipulation of The Pretty. Take a moment, behold. Wipe the drool off, then meet me down below (heh heh).
I think I might have gotten pregnant from his impregnating stare.
Though I could do without the bracelet.
**I was just made aware that credit for this drool-inducing pic is courtesy of
Of course I did a little save-action for further gawking. THIS was one manip worth keeping NOT just to laugh at later. See, most manips of Rob are BAD. Like, you can see where they copy/pasted his head on, or more often, he's in some REALLY bad/cheesy scenario in the bedroom with an equally poor photoshop of KStew. Some situation that you know both Rob or Kristen would just DIE if they saw. See exhibits A. B. and C. below (these are by no means the worst...I just don't want to offend anyone):
I'm experiencing frontrum on both Rob & Kristen's behalf. Not sure who to credit here.
They were the result of a Google search...
But this particular bathroom manip was gooooood. And non-cheesy. And within a few hours, the original picture from which this manip was taken was tweeted out. Behold, Henry Cavill. Ironically, he was Stephenie Meyer's first pick to play Edward....
Not bad, but he's not The Pretty. And I still don't like the bracelet.
BACK TO THE TASK AT HAND! So, I'm standing there in my OWN bathroom, gazing at this utter gorgossity (The Burberry tie? The hand down the pants? Ded. Gone. CoP for sure.) Besides those thoughts, my initial reaction was "Holy HELL! I've got that same damn floor tile & the same damn subway tile on my walls. Right here. IN THIS ROOM. They could have shot this photo IN. MAH. BATHROOM. Except, they didn't. I might have the same 1920's look in my master bath, but mine did not have an RPattz bathmat. Unfair.
So I got to thinking... there was absolutely NO reason that I could not have that same scenario in my bathroom. It would just take a little time, the appropriate lighting, and the procurement of some red cloth. Manny Edward was more than willing....
Um, couldn't get his hand down his pants or even get him to lay flat,
because as some of you know, New Moon Edward is NOT bendy.
I hit the computer after the shoot, trying to edit this as closely as possible to the original goodness. Alas & alack, the "un-bendiness" of New Moon Edward made it impossible. And he wouldn't let me take his coat off either. Also, I noticed that I have a "swirl" pattern to my tile, while Rob's has a variation of a checkerboard layout. (Both are correct & appropriate for the time period, however!)
New Moon Edward rocks only one look: Blue Steel.
So there you have it. Real Pattz in the picture, Action Figure in mine. And holy hell has that manip made the rounds this week. I don't know who to credit for it, but if the creator is reading this.... that's some guuuuuuuud work my friend. The fandom thanks you. And so do our loins. You brought the quiver so very well. And with that I'll leave you with one more fuckhawt manip that's sure to leave you breathless. These are drought-worthy times, people. We do what we must. Even if we need photoshop to achieve it.