Monday, January 25, 2010

The One With Rob's Man Scruff

Ladies... I'm wrecked. It's been a long weekend of Sundance Spotting (for those of us that crush on KStew & other Indie darlings, not to mention Mr. Franco and of course, The Gos). Plus there was SAG Critiquing, and Brangelina Speculating (meh). But most importantly, there was the Hope for Haiti Now Telethon. A hugely successful & extremely poignant 2 hours, with TayTay & Ms. Kendrick manning phones... oh, & an appearance by our favorite Brit.

So it was a double-header for Twi-hards this weekend, and while the big slice of media-pie went to Sundance Stewy, anyone with a well-tuned Robdar knows: HE WAS SPOTTED ON FRIDAY!!! Out & about in London on his way to & from his taping session for the telethon. NGL, his presence on it was much anticipated & highly talked about for the whole week prior.

He packed on the facial hair AND the layers.
Shirt + sweater + light jacket + leather coat = Fangirl Armor

So Rob was papp'd going in & out of his session, looking all somber & serious (rightfully so, given the topic at hand) & then appeared sans baseball cap on the Telethon (he did a FANTASTIC job btw). And what got all the jaws a-yapping & twitters a-twattering? THE BEARD. It was like Jr. Hi. all over again: Omg, the beard. And he's puffy. And he over-enunciated. And he was crying backstage (seriously people?). Poor Rob. Never mind the fact he's said in interviews that he'd gain weight for Bel Ami. And regardless that his role in it, Georges, requires a mustache. And despite the fact that Rob typically lets his facial hair go to seed during his filming/press breaks... everyone was complaining (it's a telethon, people! For a very dire situation. It was NOT a Red Carpet!)

But I got to thinking about the beard... seeing as Rob's THE current It Boy & being primed as the Next Big Oscar Winner, is there a reason for the fur? We KNOW from the scruff currently being touted on many a famous chins that burly beards are THE accessory right now... But where could Rob be going with his chin-fur? Is there an actual purpose? Let's take a look-see:

He's just a few inches of hair away from pulling a Joaquin on us, ladies. Hell, he's already got the dingy clothes, Raybans, and of course the smokes. But, The Pretty is not loco. Musically inclined? Yes, just like Mr. Pheonix here...but unless Rob's interested in going the Folsom Prison Blues route, He'd better steer clear of this brand of crazy. He's not looking to start a rap career. Thankfully.

Rob: STOP NOW, before it gets out of control!

So then, is he looking to start his career in Comedy, a la Hangover Alan? Is he using his beard as a signal to directors that yes, he's totally up for playing the slightly porky BFF that doesn't get the girl but DOES steal all the scenes? How To Be was funny & quirky. Rob's shown a wicked sense of humor in many an interview (um, hello Twilight DVD commentary). And everyone but me seems to think he's packed on a few pounds (being home with Clare's cooking will do that...) So maybe he IS just a man-purse away from comedic gold?

He'd sing "We're the three best friends that anyone could have" to KStew & TomStu.
But then Tom would throw down his half of their BFF necklaces & stomp off...

Of course, it is winter & he might just simply be trying to keep warm, Sasquatch-style. Now that The Stew has taken her soup back across the pond, his breadstick know... probably gettin' a little cold. Just sayin'.

Mr. Slade, I think we'll be needing re-shoots for the tent scene.

Maybe he's going for something else.... Wait, no. We're not even gonna go there. We'll stick with "going for a career in comedy just like Will Ferrell."

I'm Harry Caray...wait, no. Wrong sketch.

So then, maybe it's just part of Nick & Stephanie's plan for winning Rob an Oscar? 'Cause women "go country" or wear a prosthetic nose to show their versatility, but true Manly Men grow beards. They pack on a few pounds. Brad did it. Mr. Hanks has done it! Tom! Tom IS Mr. Hollywood! Spielberg has a beard. Clooney has a beard (& he's tight with The Cloones these days). Ryan Reynolds has one, but that's just being stylish. Tom Cruise has a beard... oh wait, different kind of beard. We all know Rob's kind of an awkward-running, pidgeon-toed, excessive-gesturing, self-proclaimed "idiot" (that I love!) So what better way to highlight his acting chops than with a face full of scruff?

KStew: "Rob. Quit calling me Wilson."

But maaaaybe, just maybe, this beard thing is purely for fun. What if it's for his special lady? What if she likes a bit of rough-stuff between her thighs? Hmmmm? Maybe she wanted the full Mountain Man effect before he goes for a Springtime trim? Look, successful, legendary, beautiful--haired men in the past have sported the mustache look:

I invented the Mustache Ride, baby.

I mean, she's obviously a fan. She advertised the fact last August leaving the Chateau Marmont! And surely they have to keep their beard-play antics on the DL during breaks from press or filming, considering how short she prefers her skirts on the Red Carpet & Press Tours. She's got wicked-pale skin & she rarely wears tights... so any scruff-rough would surely show. Yep, it's gotta be their Down-time Treat.

OICU trying to hide that naughty tee!

So let's just hope Kristen picks up some of this stuff for herself & Rob in one of the Gift Lounges or Swag Bags out at Sundance.

It's NEVER too early to take good care of your skin. Or thighs.

So until Rob shows his hand, er, jaw we're left to wonder where he's going with his facial scruff, or if in fact, it even has a purpose. The haters can hate, but here's what I think:

**not sure who to credit, please let me know if it's yours! It's brills!

So let's just lay off The Rob & pretend we're Kristen. Because nothing is warmer in winter than plaid flannel & facial hair, m'kay??

Oh yes. Just.... yes. Scruff = quiver.


17foreverlisa said...

Amen, sista! I pretty much blogged the same thing about laying off Rob (and Kristen, actually). They have more than proven to us that they can look stunning. And Rob is in pre-production for Bel Ami. Remember when he filmed Twilight and went to the location a month before everyone else to be by himself and get into Edward's head? He has already said that for Bel Ami, his character looks haggard. I think they call it method acting. Not to mention the fact that for Twilight the boy has probably got to shave three times a day to keep the Edward look. He's on a break between films. We should give him one, too.

uhyesplease said...


VitaminR said...

Mmmmmm I love beardy Rob....Scruffgasm. I love the photo manip of the protest signs. I can't believe people were criticiszing him--WTF? Oh well, us more matured fangirls get him. Just the mere mention of Bel Ami makes me quiver. I CANNOT wait for that is going to be so freaking hot.

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