Thursday, February 11, 2010

The One Where Taylor Turns 18....awww!

So as yall know, amidst all the Remember Me promo spots (kitchen scene!) and Bel Ami rumours/set photos, it's also a big week for Mr. Lautner! That's right, we mentioned it a month ago...and here it is. Happy Birthday Taylor!

Many of Taylor's fellow Twi-cast members were super thoughtful and made sure he had lots of prezzies to celebrate bein' legal. Here's a look at the loot:

From Kellan... Calvin Kleins, natch. Tthe new poster boy for CK had to send his favorite wolf boy a coupla packs of very manly manties. Especially since KLutz & TayLaut are known for um, forgetting (or not?) to um, secure things down before a workout.

Very very manly manties.... yeah.

Watch it wiggle, make it jiggle.... Joggling, anyone??
Thank GOD they're not wearing Umbros.

Oh, and some porn. Because we all know that Kellan is totally into girls and straight dudes love the porn. That's what what you give your best buds when they turn 18, right?

Wait, er, not that kind of skin mag....

From Jackson, an online membership to and With Jasper as the Number 1 subject of all Slash pairings, you know Jackson has GOT to get online & check out what a slashy-Jasper does in the world of Fanfiction (several of the cast have admitted in interviews that they've checked out fanfic). I can only imagine how excited he is to introduce young Taylor to the world of "holy FUCK what have they done to my character?" And since Jasper's a hot Southern Empath, I don't even wanna know where they'll take the Wolfpack pairings now that Tay Tay is legal. The imagination reels with the sheer possibilities.

Taylor, your new online handle is "108DegreesLegal"

Get ready for your newest SLASH relationship, Taycob!
It's what REALLY happened in that tent scene!

From Kristen, who has often referred to her relationship with Taylor as that of a big sister/little brother, you know she'll want him to be safe (heh) and to school him in the ways of the world. Sort of like getting drunk at a few parties at the end of your Senior Year before heading off to college. You know, so you know what to expect. Except with Kristen, that'd be weed instead of Boone's Strawberry Hill. So how nice of her to send a Gift Certificate to her favorite LA head shop....

"Come on over to the Stewart house and
Cameron & Taylor & I will show you how it's done.
We won't smoke up on my front steps this time, though."

And from Rob... of course Rob is very busy at the moment giving mustache (or not) rides all over London as Georges Duroy. So he had Nick put together a little "Signature Rob" gift basket. Kinda generic, but what can you do when Nick's in charge? Included were:

A six pack of Heinie's, an LL Bean flannel, & a membership to the
Beanie of the Month Club. And I hear Stephanie's throwing in two tickets
to the Remember Me premiere, plus an umbrella to shield him from the fangirls.

And from Ashley? She's such a giver. And thinks she has so many qualities of Alice: good taste (?), likes to shop, likes to look pretty. She sent a gorgeous Alberto Alessi condom case. And some Sobe, of course.

For the discerning gentleman... here's hoping he's not a
one-shot wonder because this baby only holds one at a time!

If he doesn't get a chance to use the condoms
(I hear Daddy Lautner is a MAJOR cock-block),
he's at least got some good wank material for the spank-bank!

And finally, a gift from someone outside the Twi-cast! THE Gossip King of them all, Ted Casablanca from E Online dusted off the Blind Vice shelf and cleared a spot JUST for Tay Tay. Because nothing says LEGAL like being the subject of a Blind Vice!

So happy birthday, Taylor Lautner! Now put on some running shoes and RUN! Run like the wind. Because the Cougars are coming for you, I think I saw Cathi Hardiwicke leading the pack.


Subtle Pen said...

OMG this was Priceless! love the mantees and pr0n!! and of course the twilighted membership! read it TayTay, you know you wanna read about jake doin the naughty with anyone/everyone...

MrsBing03 said...

Is it cool to fangirl your own blog partner? Because you, Anntastic, rock my world. This was ah-mazing. PLEASE know how much I loved that Hardwicke comment at the end.

Post a Comment