The zoo. Really? Really. Twilight is everywhere.
A good friend of mine recently took her children to the zoo. Please go out on a limb here and imagine how Twilight might have crept up on her during such a visit. Yes, good luck with that. There was obviously some excitement for the Petting Zoo, right? Kids love that little germ-ridden gem of a stink-area. So I receive a call afterwards, detailing the Petting Zoo experience. If you can believe it, there were four goats there and they were named... wait for it... Edward, Bella, Jacob, and Nessie. GAH! I cannot control myself, even now, even after eyeing these photos and replaying that story to myself repeatedly. I still die every single time. Goats.
Nessie, Edward, Jacob, & Bella. As Boer goats. Major WTF moment happening here.
To be honest, this little sitch has ruined a lot for me. There are so many lines in this four-book saga that I reread with a completely different mind-set. For instance, Bella says to Edward, "I'm trying to figure out what you are." Vampire? No. A fucking Boer goat? Yes. I want to meet the chick who thought that these goats should be named after Twilight characters. And you know it's a chick. There's no way a man was involved in these shenanigans.
Wait! Bella the Goat stepped aside to let Jake and Nessie
grab a bite. Perhaps Bella the Goat is more okay with the daughter/BFF relaysh than
Bella the Human is. Either that, or lunchtime at the Petting Zoo just got AWKWARD.
I did a little research on Boer goats. Maybe the smarty in charge of naming the goats knew what she was doing. Or was she just feeling like outing her Twi-shameface in a most ultimate way? Let's see, shall we? Allow me to enlighten you:
--Boer goats have more "rambunctious personalities" than other petting zoo goats.
--They prefer hot, dry semi-deserts.
--Boer goats are herd animals.
--These goats are herbivores.
--They were "developed in South Africa in the 1900's from a cross of indigenous goats and Indian or European goats."
What ever does this mean?
--More rambunctious? This sounds more like the wolves than the vampires, eh? Perhaps she hit the nail on the head naming one of them JACOB.
--The goats prefer it hot. Nessie prefers it hot. Well, she will in 18 years. Gross.
--Hey! Herd animals! The wolves travel in packs and the Cullen's are all coven-like and shit. Hmmmmm, these names are seeming more and more appropriate.
--Now, we know that the vampires are NOT herbivores (**cough** grizzlies **cough**), but they ARE "vegetarian" vampires...
--This is where I see that the Twi-zookeeper has done her fucking research. INDIGENOUS. Unbelievable. 'Nuff said.
Ladies first! Always such the gentleman, that Edward.
Even Edward the Goat lets Bella hunt- er, eat- first.
In keeping with #TwilightIsEverywhere, we need to know: IS THIS NORMAL? Are there any more animals named after these characters that we need to know about? Please spill.