The One Where Twilight Is Everywhere

The zoo. Really? Really. Twilight is everywhere.

A good friend of mine recently took her children to the zoo. Please go out on a limb here and imagine how Twilight might have crept up on her during such a visit. Yes, good luck with that. There was obviously some excitement for the Petting Zoo, right? Kids love that little germ-ridden gem of a stink-area. So I receive a call afterwards, detailing the Petting Zoo experience. If you can believe it, there were four goats there and they were named... wait for it... Edward, Bella, Jacob, and Nessie. GAH! I cannot control myself, even now, even after eyeing these photos and replaying that story to myself repeatedly. I still die every single time. Goats.

Nessie, Edward, Jacob, & Bella. As Boer goats. Major WTF moment happening here.

To be honest, this little sitch has ruined a lot for me. There are so many lines in this four-book saga that I reread with a completely different mind-set. For instance, Bella says to Edward, "I'm trying to figure out what you are." Vampire? No. A fucking Boer goat? Yes. I want to meet the chick who thought that these goats should be named after Twilight characters. And you know it's a chick. There's no way a man was involved in these shenanigans.

Wait! Bella the Goat stepped aside to let Jake and Nessie

grab a bite. Perhaps Bella the Goat is more okay with the daughter/BFF relaysh than

Bella the Human is. Either that, or lunchtime at the Petting Zoo just got AWKWARD.

I did a little research on Boer goats. Maybe the smarty in charge of naming the goats knew what she was doing. Or was she just feeling like outing her Twi-shameface in a most ultimate way? Let's see, shall we? Allow me to enlighten you:

--Boer goats have more "rambunctious personalities" than other petting zoo goats.

--They prefer hot, dry semi-deserts.

--Boer goats are herd animals.

--These goats are herbivores.

--They were "developed in South Africa in the 1900's from a cross of indigenous goats and Indian or European goats."

What ever does this mean?

--More rambunctious? This sounds more like the wolves than the vampires, eh? Perhaps she hit the nail on the head naming one of them JACOB.

--The goats prefer it hot. Nessie prefers it hot. Well, she will in 18 years. Gross.

--Hey! Herd animals! The wolves travel in packs and the Cullen's are all coven-like and shit. Hmmmmm, these names are seeming more and more appropriate.

--Now, we know that the vampires are NOT herbivores (**cough** grizzlies **cough**), but they ARE "vegetarian" vampires...

--This is where I see that the Twi-zookeeper has done her fucking research. INDIGENOUS. Unbelievable. 'Nuff said.

Ladies first! Always such the gentleman, that Edward.

Even Edward the Goat lets Bella hunt- er, eat- first.

In keeping with #TwilightIsEverywhere, we need to know: IS THIS NORMAL? Are there any more animals named after these characters that we need to know about? Please spill.