The One With The One-Shot Wednesday on Thursday

Every once in a while, a story comes along that you just ADORE. You are delighted while you read it, and you cannot wait to hit "REVIEW" when you're done and fangirl a bit to the author. This is saying a lot for me b/c I am notoriously bad (read: not prompt) about leaving my reviews for authors. But last fall I found a one-shot that had been written for a contest. This fic was different, completely outside of anything I'd read. And I immediately decided that I would love anything this author wrote.

So fast-forward to a couple of weeks ago when I found another one-shot by this same author. Everything I've read by her is not only VERY well-written, it's surprising, sexy, and often has a very delicious twist to it. This latest story is no exception. I'm talking about Pegged, by Subtlepen.

I'm not going to say too much because I don't want to give anything away. I will say this: if you're not familiar with the term "pegged" do NOT look it up. Read the one-shot first, THEN look it up. I had an idea what this would be about judging by the title, but oh how I was surprised - in the most sexy way. In short, Edward lives out a fantasy starting with a visit to a local nightclub. A gay nightclub. Just trust me, if for some reason you have any hesitation about reading slash fics or are a stickler for certain character pairings, suspend those thoughts and just READ!!

Somehow in reading Subtlepen's stories, I've gotten to know her a bit. I shamelessly fangirled her on Twitter and am SO very very glad I did. Her stories are nuanced, creative, and while Pegged is fun, her other stories are full of emotion and are achingly moving (I'll be rec'ing the story I mentioned at the beginning of this post at a later date). In addition to the talent she wields with her story-telling, she's one hilarious bitch. And you cannot imagine how surprised I was to learn she lives a few hours from me, so there is the potential to actually fangirl her in person. The best thing? I've already read her stuff, so it saves her from having to tell me that she writes some of the sexiest boy on boy action in the Twi-verse.

So if you're looking for just a little something to read, maybe a fun tale before bedtime... please go visit Pegged. And since Subtlepen is such a giver, be sure YOU reciprocate and leave her some love down below by reviewing!

The One Where the Style Has Been Broughten

It is no secret that Anntastic and I are in serious love with our girl, Kristen. We love Stew and her sweet-ass style (as well as her sweet ass, of course). So you can imagine how happy we are that she has not only stepped out at Sundance but she has also broughten her famous style. We likey. I showed MrBing a few of her Sundance photos and he rearranged his Freebie 5, inching her a little farther up the list. She's just so damn beautiful. Her skin is flawless. Her eyes are uncalled-for gorgeous. And she doesn't give those smiles away, but when she does smile it's like fucking sunshine. When she smiles, it's genuine and you just know that she means it. Flawless. And I'd like to personally thank her someday for the the props that she gives to those Chucks. I've been wearing the same pair that I've had since my Sophomore year in high school and they are damn comfortable. No other brand quite compares. I was made fun of by nearly everyone in my class from the 8th grade until college because I chose to wear Chucks ninety-five percent of the time. Everyone thought that I was freakish because I opted out of the bright-white Keds and the thick-soled Doc Martens. Come college time, no one gave a fuck about my choice in footwear, thank you. And I met MrBing, who loved them so (true love, people). Again, I digress. Bottom line: Stew loves the beloved Converse that I have stuck by for the last 20 years, and I love her so much more for that. She kicks ass in all ways.

Oh, Kristen. We love you so very much. Here is our Stew, rocking a pair of Denim of Virtue

jeans and her Juicy Couture hooded coat. And the smile.

Just another day at Sundance, showing 'em how it's done.

Converse mixes it up with the coolest fabrics and colors, but these... T

hese are reallyfuckingcool. Kristen wore these denim and plaid Chucks

at Sundance. These definitely fall under the shoeporn category. Hardcore.

The Chucks that Anntastic, MrBing, and myself wore to a

New Moon showing. If Anntastic's man could have attended,

he would have shown Cons love, as well.

And please let us know if you are aware of anyone else who can wear these black legging jeans that she is clearly rocking. Never mind that. We don't really want to know, that would just be de.press.ing. But we do want her to turn around and give us the 360 view. Heh. Those pants are ah-mazing and she wears them as only Kristen can. And I'm going to bet that she sleeps in this hoodie. What say you? It's comfy, well worn-in, and adorned with Nuns with Guns. What's not to love about it? And it probs smells a tiny bit like Rob. At least, in my imagination it does. Oh, it totally does...

It's a tricky fucking balance to look smoking hot yet comfortable at the same time.

Kristen wore her staple EC Star hoodie with really fantastic J Brand legging

jeans (in black, of course). Adidas and a smirk, to boot. *sigh*

I'd like to close by mentioning the fashion bonus that Anna wore to the SAG Awards on Sunday. If you know me at all, you can attest that I am a whore for awards season. I love the red carpet arrivals a tiny bit more than I love the actual awards shows. And it goes without saying that I love the shoes. Obviously. Anna's strapless gown was perfection on her, once again. DUDE, does she ever mess up with this? No. The answer is no. Similar to Christian's choice for the Globes party, this really could have looked good on a number of people. It wasn't the most jaw-dropping nor unique gown to show at the event. But this color is gorgeous with her skin tone and eye color, and the shape is really flattering (she's so super teeny). Her hair? Necessary. And while her shoes were not the most fab she's ever worn, the platform is pretty fucking *unf* and she upped the heel to five inches once again! The platforms these days... C.O.P.

Anna wore a magenta Alberta Ferretti gown made of chiffon

(from the Spring 2010 line). Sign me up for one of these, please.

Okay, they're a little vanilla. But they're FIVE-inch heels. And they've got a teeny little peep-toe. And the platform is mega. Anna wore these Sergio Rossi leather pumps (from the Cruise 2010 line) with her gown. Yumm-o.

The One With Rob's Man Scruff

Ladies... I'm wrecked. It's been a long weekend of Sundance Spotting (for those of us that crush on KStew & other Indie darlings, not to mention Mr. Franco and of course, The Gos). Plus there was SAG Critiquing, and Brangelina Speculating (meh). But most importantly, there was the Hope for Haiti Now Telethon. A hugely successful & extremely poignant 2 hours, with TayTay & Ms. Kendrick manning phones... oh, & an appearance by our favorite Brit.

So it was a double-header for Twi-hards this weekend, and while the big slice of media-pie went to Sundance Stewy, anyone with a well-tuned Robdar knows: HE WAS SPOTTED ON FRIDAY!!! Out & about in London on his way to & from his taping session for the telethon. NGL, his presence on it was much anticipated & highly talked about for the whole week prior.

He packed on the facial hair AND the layers.

Shirt + sweater + light jacket + leather coat = Fangirl Armor

So Rob was papp'd going in & out of his session, looking all somber & serious (rightfully so, given the topic at hand) & then appeared sans baseball cap on the Telethon (he did a FANTASTIC job btw). And what got all the jaws a-yapping & twitters a-twattering? THE BEARD. It was like Jr. Hi. all over again: Omg, the beard. And he's puffy. And he over-enunciated. And he was crying backstage (seriously people?). Poor Rob. Never mind the fact he's said in interviews that he'd gain weight for Bel Ami. And regardless that his role in it, Georges, requires a mustache. And despite the fact that Rob typically lets his facial hair go to seed during his filming/press breaks... everyone was complaining (it's a telethon, people! For a very dire situation. It was NOT a Red Carpet!)

But I got to thinking about the beard... seeing as Rob's THE current It Boy & being primed as the Next Big Oscar Winner, is there a reason for the fur? We KNOW from the scruff currently being touted on many a famous chins that burly beards are THE accessory right now... But where could Rob be going with his chin-fur? Is there an actual purpose? Let's take a look-see:

He's just a few inches of hair away from pulling a Joaquin on us, ladies. Hell, he's already got the dingy clothes, Raybans, and of course the smokes. But, The Pretty is not loco. Musically inclined? Yes, just like Mr. Pheonix here...but unless Rob's interested in going the Folsom Prison Blues route, He'd better steer clear of this brand of crazy. He's not looking to start a rap career. Thankfully.

Rob: STOP NOW, before it gets out of control!

So then, is he looking to start his career in Comedy, a la Hangover Alan? Is he using his beard as a signal to directors that yes, he's totally up for playing the slightly porky BFF that doesn't get the girl but DOES steal all the scenes? How To Be was funny & quirky. Rob's shown a wicked sense of humor in many an interview (um, hello Twilight DVD commentary). And everyone but me seems to think he's packed on a few pounds (being home with Clare's cooking will do that...) So maybe he IS just a man-purse away from comedic gold?

He'd sing "We're the three best friends that anyone could have" to KStew & TomStu.

But then Tom would throw down his half of their BFF necklaces & stomp off...

Of course, it is winter & he might just simply be trying to keep warm, Sasquatch-style. Now that The Stew has taken her soup back across the pond, his breadstick is...you know... probably gettin' a little cold. Just sayin'.

Mr. Slade, I think we'll be needing re-shoots for the tent scene.

Maybe he's going for something else.... Wait, no. We're not even gonna go there. We'll stick with "going for a career in comedy just like Will Ferrell."

I'm Harry Caray...wait, no. Wrong sketch.

So then, maybe it's just part of Nick & Stephanie's plan for winning Rob an Oscar? 'Cause women "go country" or wear a prosthetic nose to show their versatility, but true Manly Men grow beards. They pack on a few pounds. Brad did it. Mr. Hanks has done it! Tom! Tom IS Mr. Hollywood! Spielberg has a beard. Clooney has a beard (& he's tight with The Cloones these days). Ryan Reynolds has one, but that's just being stylish. Tom Cruise has a beard... oh wait, different kind of beard. We all know Rob's kind of an awkward-running, pidgeon-toed, excessive-gesturing, self-proclaimed "idiot" (that I love!) So what better way to highlight his acting chops than with a face full of scruff?

KStew: "Rob. Quit calling me Wilson."

But maaaaybe, just maybe, this beard thing is purely for fun. What if it's for his special lady? What if she likes a bit of rough-stuff between her thighs? Hmmmm? Maybe she wanted the full Mountain Man effect before he goes for a Springtime trim? Look, successful, legendary, beautiful--haired men in the past have sported the mustache look:

I invented the Mustache Ride, baby.

I mean, she's obviously a fan. She advertised the fact last August leaving the Chateau Marmont! And surely they have to keep their beard-play antics on the DL during breaks from press or filming, considering how short she prefers her skirts on the Red Carpet & Press Tours. She's got wicked-pale skin & she rarely wears tights... so any scruff-rough would surely show. Yep, it's gotta be their Down-time Treat.

OICU trying to hide that naughty tee!

So let's just hope Kristen picks up some of this stuff for herself & Rob in one of the Gift Lounges or Swag Bags out at Sundance.

It's NEVER too early to take good care of your skin. Or thighs.

So until Rob shows his hand, er, jaw we're left to wonder where he's going with his facial scruff, or if in fact, it even has a purpose. The haters can hate, but here's what I think:

**not sure who to credit, please let me know if it's yours! It's brills!

So let's just lay off The Rob & pretend we're Kristen. Because nothing is warmer in winter than plaid flannel & facial hair, m'kay??

Oh yes. Just.... yes. Scruff = quiver.

The One With The Bathroom Manip

So the other morning, I miraculously woke up BEFORE Vampire Baby (my 18 mo old, who never sleeps....hence the name. She consistently begins her day anywhere from 4:30 AM - 5:45 AM most days.) But it was 7-fucking-45 AM and not a peep from her. So I stumbled into the bathroom to get showered before the morning-crazy began. And while I was waiting for the water to warm, I did what I usually do when I first wake up... Grabbed my phone & checked news (Twilight news, duh!) on Twitter. As I scrolled thru my timeline, I noticed a tweet from one of the girlies I follow:

"Off to bed to touch myself inappropriately to scenes

involving this image: http://LinkToHotRobManip.com Night lovelies."

So I did what I always do: CLICKY the LINKY! Who cares about the water!!! Because given the girls I tweet with and what this fandom generally finds amusing (esp at 1 in the morning, when this link was tweeted), I knew this had to be: A) Robporn B) Twi-porn, C) Porn ("erotica" as I like to call it), or D) Miscellaneous Link to Something Funny. And I was correct: Answer A for the win! It was Robporn in the form of a Rob-nipulation. A gorgeous, sexy, fully-clothed photo manipulation of The Pretty. Take a moment, behold. Wipe the drool off, then meet me down below (heh heh).

I think I might have gotten pregnant from his impregnating stare.

Though I could do without the bracelet.

**I was just made aware that credit for this drool-inducing pic is courtesy of

@Lolypop82

Of course I did a little save-action for further gawking. THIS was one manip worth keeping NOT just to laugh at later. See, most manips of Rob are BAD. Like, you can see where they copy/pasted his head on, or more often, he's in some REALLY bad/cheesy scenario in the bedroom with an equally poor photoshop of KStew. Some situation that you know both Rob or Kristen would just DIE if they saw. See exhibits A. B. and C. below (these are by no means the worst...I just don't want to offend anyone):

I'm experiencing frontrum on both Rob & Kristen's behalf. Not sure who to credit here.

They were the result of a Google search...

But this particular bathroom manip was gooooood. And non-cheesy. And within a few hours, the original picture from which this manip was taken was tweeted out. Behold, Henry Cavill. Ironically, he was Stephenie Meyer's first pick to play Edward....

Not bad, but he's not The Pretty. And I still don't like the bracelet.

BACK TO THE TASK AT HAND! So, I'm standing there in my OWN bathroom, gazing at this utter gorgossity (The Burberry tie? The hand down the pants? Ded. Gone. CoP for sure.) Besides those thoughts, my initial reaction was "Holy HELL! I've got that same damn floor tile & the same damn subway tile on my walls. Right here. IN THIS ROOM. They could have shot this photo IN. MAH. BATHROOM. Except, they didn't. I might have the same 1920's look in my master bath, but mine did not have an RPattz bathmat. Unfair.

So I got to thinking... there was absolutely NO reason that I could not have that same scenario in my bathroom. It would just take a little time, the appropriate lighting, and the procurement of some red cloth. Manny Edward was more than willing....

Um, couldn't get his hand down his pants or even get him to lay flat,

because as some of you know, New Moon Edward is NOT bendy.

I hit the computer after the shoot, trying to edit this as closely as possible to the original goodness. Alas & alack, the "un-bendiness" of New Moon Edward made it impossible. And he wouldn't let me take his coat off either. Also, I noticed that I have a "swirl" pattern to my tile, while Rob's has a variation of a checkerboard layout. (Both are correct & appropriate for the time period, however!)

New Moon Edward rocks only one look: Blue Steel.

So there you have it. Real Pattz in the picture, Action Figure in mine. And holy hell has that manip made the rounds this week. I don't know who to credit for it, but if the creator is reading this.... that's some guuuuuuuud work my friend. The fandom thanks you. And so do our loins. You brought the quiver so very well. And with that I'll leave you with one more fuckhawt manip that's sure to leave you breathless. These are drought-worthy times, people. We do what we must. Even if we need photoshop to achieve it.

The One Where The Twi-cast Ruled at the Golden Globes

If you weren't watching the Globes on Sunday night, you're about to see how the Twi-cast flaunted their gorgeous. Only Anna Kendrick and Taylor Lautner were Globes attendees, but much of the rest of the cast showed [beautiful] face at the InStyle & Warner Bros. after party. I believe Kellan added the HBO party into his mix, as well. Nice, nice. And aside from Anna, it was black all around. Bleh. What's with the lack in color that night? It's understandable for the guys to show in basic black, but it would have done them a little good to show some color. And there's no excuse for the ladies. Black is classic, sure. Sexy, yes. But it's so predictable. And this cast is so young and shamwanties-hot, they should have mixed it up a bit.

Anna steered clear of black, in favor of a light and airy gown that has been both loved and shat upon by fashion-savvy. I'm voting for BEAUTIFUL. She looked beautiful and I loved this on her. I probs wouldn't wear it (if you want to know whose gown I would have stolen, you're gonna have to drop a comment, fuckers. Let us know what YOU think). But it was so, so pretteh on her, and she chose the perfect hair and makeup to compliment her gown. Okay, are we done with this yet? Can we move on to the SHOES? Yeah, these pretties call for fucking back-up shamwanties. Love, love, love them in a major (and slightly embarassing) way. Anna does not ever disappoint me. I won't say another thing. It's just time to look at them...

Anna wore a gown from the Marchesa 2010 RTW collection and

a most beautiful pair of Christian Louboutin Eugenie satin pumps. Oh my.

We'll talk Taylor next, but only because he presented at the Globes. Also because I want to get this shit out of the way. Because he had a choice. I'm telling you that he could have turned this shit down if he was as disgusted by the sheen-factor as much as we were. It was so shiny. That's it, just shiny. Ew. As Anntastic pointed out to me in our post-Globes convo, "it looks as though it's impervious to water." And that's all I can think about. When he was presenting, I just felt so bad for him, it was so damn SHINY under those lights. The bowtie was all kinds of whack, as well, seeing as I'm pretty sure that extra fucking shine was added to that, too. The tie-job was eh. and it was lopsided-ish at times. So sad. But he did a fab job presenting, so way to go, you.

Taylor Lautner wore Calvin Klein to the Golden Globes. And I'm guessing he thought that

super-shine bowtie was a nice compliment to his jawline, er, suit.

Now that we're done with the TLaut shine, I can talk about my favorite Twi-cast get-up of the evening. Keep in mind that I am totally aware of shitting on the "All black! Everyone let's wear black!" theme. But my fave dress from the cast members was this one. Hands down, there wasn't even a question, and it's thanks to Ashley Greene and her non-extensions. It looked comfortable and she didn't over-accessorize and her hair was up in my most favorite style and she teased me with shoes! I literally sighed out loud when I saw her shoes. Ashley was the best on Sunday night. I am serious when I say that I would consider moving back to Oklahoma if she would let me wear that dress+shoes orgasm-in-disguise for an evening. (That really speaks volumes as to how much I love her Globes fashion. If you know me, you know why.)

Ashley Greene chose this Atelier Versace mini and a fine pair of Casadei Triple Platform Pumps.

A triple platform, people. True love.

Kellan Lutz, Edi Gathegi, and The Mr. showed up at the after party looking pretty amazing. Thanks to the anti-shine committee for dressing these men in some really fine, sheen-free attire. I thought that Kellan looked pretty amazing that night. I loved that he wore a vest and I thought that his shoes were perfect. He did a bang-up (heh.) job choosing this mighty-handsome number. His hair was much better that night than it has been recently. Surely you noticed? Nice and handsome. As for the other Twi-men in attendance, The Mr. looked freaking cute. Maybe delicious would be the more appropriate word... Whatever adjective you choose to describe The Mr. + suit, I think we are all breathing a sigh of relief that the lady-scarves were left at home. And I don't see much of Edi, as he's not papped and plastered across the internet as much as the others, but my-oh-my he was looking sharp on Sunday night! Whew! His suit fit him so nicely and it was gray (omg, a suit that isn't black?!) and he just looked really great. These Twi-men, hmmm... I'm humming with happiness and my two luvahs didn't even show up. This is a nice group of men, ladies.

Handsome. Kellan Lutz in his handsome 3-piece suit. He's just really handsome.

Christian Serratos, The Mr., and Edi Gathegi at the InStyle & Warner Bros. after party. Delish!

It was also nice to see a couple of our ladies show up, albeit dressed all-in-black. Eh. They both looked beautiful and they stuck to their styles and what works best for each. (I'm telling you, if TLaut would have put the kabosh on that fucking shine, it would have been perfection.) I obvs had to take a closer look at Christian's shoes. Because that's what I do. And what I am about to reveal is factual information, so listen closely: Stella McCartney guarantees epic win. Always. Christian's dress could have looked just as great on almost any other Hollywood body, there was nothing too special about it and definitely nothing unique going on there. But she did a good thing by okay-ing those shoes. As for Bryce Dallas Howard, her style is really her own. Sometimes I don't get it and sometimes I think, "No. No. No." But she always chooses for herself and she therefore always looks confident and genuine (how refreshing!) and just plain happy. I do like this one, though. I look at this photo of her and note how beautiful she is and I cannot help but wonder what blush she is wearing... How do we find that out? I want it.

Christian Serratos wore these Stella McCartney gold trim platform pumps. Pretty. I want to touch.

And Bryce Dallas Howard seriously rocked this dress.