The One Where Kristen Raids My Shoe Closet

Don't I wish. But I'd love to raid hers. Like, right now. As you can tell, this little post is going to be a slew of fangirl-y comments toward our lovely Stew. If you're not cool with that, then you have my most sincere apologies. If you're still reading, then welcome! and please join us for a little oogling.

So, obvs her eye makeup is outstanding. Anntastic has made a fantastic point in that Kristen's eyes are never dull. Even when this chick is in a pair of nasty (yet still hot-- how does she do that?) jeans and an old tee (side-knotted a la 1986), her eye makeup is THERE. Her hair may be nice and unwashed, but her eyes are for all to see. And her eyes were certainly the focus last night. Stunning.

Sign me up for a few tips from the genius who works on Kristen's eyes.

Seriously. Those things are like her very own secret weapon.

Kristen scored even more points with me when she chose this dress. It is pretty cool, yes, but it is also from a 2009 ready-to-wear line. What?! A celebrity that did not choose a dress from a 2010 Fall/Winter collection? *gasp!* This is a rarity and I love it. Even though she is nowhere near accessible to any of us, choosing something that is attainable to the normal, non-famous folk (well, to some) really says something about her. She doesn't need to show us via clothing that she is SO much more awesome than we are. Because she doesn't care. And that kinda makes her even cooler in my books. Way to go, you.

The beautiful Stew wore this Azzaro Graffiti dress from the 2009 RTW Collection.

Basically, she's the coolest.

The best for last. Always. Shoes. When Anntastic sent me this photo last night, I purposely refrained from forwarding it to MrBing. He's coming down with the cold that the rest of the Bing family has, and he needed sleep. He wasn't going to get any after the legs and shoeporn in this here photo. Agree? Okay, so she obvs didn't raid my shoe closet. But if I had one and she could raid it, I think she would like what she saw. These would certainly be included.

Kristen was perfection, head-to-toe. Her black satin Bally platform pumps ("Stann")

clearly sealed the deal. I'll take a pair, thanks.

As for the movie, I'm definitely excited to see it. Of course I love the twi-cast, but I like seeing them show a little range. She has proven herself to be quite the talented actress, long before the Twilight saga. For the most part, she chooses roles that are challenging for her, that require actual thought and work, talent and effort. I expect nothing less than awesome from her in this role. Kristen rocks.

The One Where the Raddest Fucking Dude Alive Fills My Chocolate Void

Chocolate and Robporn. Robporn and chocolate. These two things have an uncanny ability to make me feel better, morning, noon, and night. No matter when I need a pick-me-up, I can open my file o' photos or indulge in a little chocolate (okay, I'm a lying bitch. Where chocolate is concerned, consumption is never "a little"), and it gives me the push I need to just keep swimming.

It looks like chocolate is OUT for all parties of the Bing and -tastic households.

This chocolate fun is on hold for six weeks, suckahs! Bummer.

Every year, during the Lenten season, I go without chocolate for six weeks. It has never been easy. But this year... Ah, this year I will have something to help me through the withdrawal symptoms. Because I'm NOT giving up my other vice, the said Robporn. Unh, unh, no way. I feel a bit like I'm cheating, no? Maybe that's the guilty Catholic in me. Whatever the reason for my guilt, I've decided to give up the one and NOT the other. I've never had the fuck-smattering of photos that are currently filed away, and I'm not about to voluntarily separate from them. This time last year, the file was named and contained a few staples. But thanks to my girl, Anntastic (and a handful of you other twi-hoors), it now holds an impressive collection. And it's going to ease the chocolate withdrawals (which started on Ash Wednesday morning, you should know).

DUDE, this is Robporn at its finest. Fuckity-fuck, he is sexy.

CannesRob was unbelievable and should be included in everyone's stash.

I actually have elevated levels of guilt going on, as I have kinda been looking forward to the missing chocolate in my life. You see, next week I will be the proud owner of an iPhone! I know I am years behind the times, but my upgrade date is finally nearing and I am beyondfuckingexcited. So thrilled. So, I'm kinda okay with the void that my beloved chocolate has left, because I know I am close to that beautiful piece of technology. It's gonna make the sanity- and withdrawal-saving Robporn so much more accessible. What was that you said? I'm going to be able to view it any time of the day? Like, in the carpool line at my daughter's preschool? When I'm losing my fucking cool near the end of the day? Oh, it's going to work wonders for my sanity, I can feel it. If I'm lucky, I'll have an assortment of Rob and j.action photos to rival Anntastic and another pal (you know who you are and you make the best homemade marshmallows on the planet) in no time.

These two photos will be among the very first to become mainstays on my iPhone

(after MrBing and the Bing kiddos, of course).

Holy crap, I love Tattward and j.action so much...

A quick aside: Anntastic's Fat Tuesday post was brilliant, yes. I am nerd enough to fangirl my own bestie/partner, as you'll see here quite often. I just want to add that Rob's nod to Coco de Mer did not escape me, either. Rather, it stuck out in the most fuckhawt of ways. If you have not already read his interview with Details mag, PLEASE do so now. He is actually brilliant and witty and thoughtful and just so real. Basically, he's the raddest fucking dude alive (a borrow from Van Wilder). In case you were unsure, you can find Rob "in the Guiness Book of fucking World Records under the raddest fucking dude alive." Go read the interview and let us know what you think.

The One With The Bedazzled Merkin (thanks, Rob)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The One Where It's A HappyFuckingValentine'sDay

NGL, I had a pretty fantastic little post going for your Valentine's Day weekend. That shit went out the door last night when I put the Bing kiddos down and discovered the most panty-wrecking photos I have seen since THE Vogue outtakes. And I'm sorry, but my head's just not where it needs to be to finish that post. So I'm just going to go where I know you all want me to. Let's face it, ladies, if I half-assed the rest of that V-Day post and actually put it up here, you'd nix Twi-fecta for the stash 'o photos that you pulled last night. So here we go. And happyfuckingvalentinesday.

Is the sunshine necessary to highlight his perfect fucking features? I don't think so.

His eyes KILL ME. And even though his stare is most captivating, I still totes notice her nails. WTF?

Oh. My. Cock. Ohmycock. (The Sweetest Thing, please tell me you've seen it?) They may as well have photographed HIS because it's all anyone is thinking about today. Well, that and the hair. And the jaw. And the eyes. And the magical fucking fingers. And if I'm going to be honest, I've done a hell of a lot of thinking about the heels. Details got it right, eh? This shoot was done beautifully and was So. Damn. Sexy. Every one of the outfits that they put together for him were sublime. This shoot showed some seriously impressive styling, and I would LOVE to have been there to see the art direction of it all (for more than the obvs reasons).

There were so many photos and each one made the ladyplace happy.

But I'm going to be so bold as to claim a fave. *gasp!* And this is it.

His magicalfuckingfingers on the ass, the look on his face, his chest hair,

the ribbons on her heels, her bracelets, ooooh la!

There is everything about this photo to like. Hence the cover shot.

Now I'm going to direct you back to a post that was put out at the beginning of this year. Please be patient with me, it's for a reason. It was all about the three panty-prepping methods that we'd need for the explosion (heh.) of events coming up. Click on this photo for a refresher (because this is right about where I ruined mine).

Oh, heeeeey! My panties were caught by surprise, for sure. Is this guy even real?

Now, I know that a handful of you knew when to expect the release of these pics, but I was unprepared. My little undies had no time to get ready and there was zero time for me to put methods A, B, nor C into effect. I want to know: How would you have prepared for the Details pics? Would you change the panties, forget them altogether, or bring out the Shamwanties? I'm going with panties? What panties? Why change them when you're just gonna go through every fucking pair? Why pull out the Shamwanties when they won't serve the purpose they're designed for? So forget 'em. And if you have any on, I suggest you remove them fuckingquickly before you view the video. You can't say I didn't warn you.

After taking the prep-poll (on the right sidebar), follow your own advice and get ready...

Click on the photo above for a most delicious video. And enjoy. Happyfuckingweekend.

Wanna get pregnant every time you look at your desktop?

Visit Maria for this gorgeous - and many other equally panty-wrecking - gem!

Via ThinkingOfRob by Maria